Feedback on the Runway
by Trista Schoonmaker
Are you watching the new season of Project Runway? (Let’s sidestep that controversy for now. . .)
If you’ve ever watched Project Runway, you know the drill. Designers spend frantic hours sewing, cutting, and creating their garments—often pouring their hearts and late-night energy into each stitch. Then, in a moment that can feel brutal, they must stand before the judges and hear unfiltered feedback: what worked, what didn’t, and sometimes, why their dream look “just isn’t fashion forward.”
The moment of critique can feel raw. Some designers stand tall and listen intently, taking notes for next time. Others defend, deflect, or wilt under the spotlight. And every viewer sees the same truth: it’s not just about talent—it’s about how well you can receive feedback and grow from it.
Feedback often touches not only on what we do but on who we believe ourselves to be. Just like a designer’s gown, our work carries our fingerprints, creativity, and effort. No wonder feedback can feel personal—even when it isn’t meant that way.
Why Is This Important?
Research shows that receiving difficult feedback can trigger a fight, flight, or freeze response. This is particularly true when the negative feedback is a surprise. What has this looked like on the runway, where designers are often shocked by the judges’ harsh responses?
Designers who get very defensive, verging on rude, as they defend their look.
Designers who, even if they were proud of their look before, now agree with the judges that it is “unwearable,” rather than explaining their perspective.
Designers who withdraw and don’t say anything as the critique continues.
Designers who jump quickly to blaming others for the final result, not able to fully own their own actions.
Do you see yourself in any of these responses? I know I do. In a business setting, it might look like dismissing suggestions without reflection, shutting down, or arguing our case instead of listening. We may focus on defending ourselves or blaming someone else rather than learning from the perspective being offered.
How we respond in those moments shapes not only the next project but also our relationships, reputations, and growth opportunities.
Leaders who thrive with feedback have one thing in common: they pause before reacting. They make space between the sting of the critique and their response. That pause opens the door to curiosity. Instead of asking, “Why are they criticizing me?”, they wonder, “What might I learn here that I can’t see on my own?”
It’s about staying in a place of curiosity rather than moving into fear or defensive anger. I’m always impressed when I see people who can hear the difficult comments and still keep their cool.
Great designers on Project Runway learn to separate themselves from their creations. They treat feedback as a tool to sharpen their artistry, not as a verdict on their worth. Leaders can do the same. When we model openness to feedback, we normalize it for our teams. When we resist defensiveness and choose curiosity, we turn critique into connection.
Feedback isn’t always comfortable—but, like the runway, it’s the testing ground where growth takes shape.
How Can I Use This?
The next time you find yourself in the “judges’ chair” moment—whether it’s during a performance review, after a presentation, or in an impromptu hallway conversation—pause before reacting. Take a breath, acknowledge the feedback, and shift from defense mode to curiosity mode.
Listen for the nugget. Even if the delivery is imperfect, ask yourself, What’s the one useful insight I can take from this?
Separate identity from output. Your work is being evaluated, not your worth.
Turn it into dialogue. Invite clarity with questions like, What would improvement look like? or Can you share an example?
Experiment with one change. You don’t have to adopt every piece of feedback. Try one adjustment and see what happens.
While your life might not be as stressful as Project Runway, by practicing these steps, you’ll build a habit of receiving feedback with resilience.