Starting the New Year with More Connection
by Trista Schoonmaker
As the calendar flips to a new year, most of us instinctively think about productivity goals or personal resolutions. But very few people pause to consider a different kind of reset — one that has far more influence on our daily experience at work:
How do I want to show up in my relationships this year?
What patterns am I bringing into 2025 that might be getting in the way of connection?
The truth is, connection doesn’t drift into our lives by accident. It’s built (or eroded) through the small, often unconscious habits that shape our interactions.
And most of us are still operating on last year’s relational autopilot.
This is why January offers such a powerful opportunity. We get to reset not just our calendars, but our connection patterns.
Why This Matters
Every workplace relationship has a rhythm—a set of assumptions, habits, emotional shortcuts, and unspoken interpretations that develop over time. Some patterns bring us closer. Others quietly pull us apart.
Maybe you had a colleague last year whose tone you started interpreting negatively.
Maybe you slipped into rushing through conversations because you were overwhelmed.
Maybe a miscommunication went unaddressed and calcified into distance.
Maybe you simply stopped seeing someone’s humanity because speed took priority over presence.
These aren’t “conflict” moments in the dramatic sense; they’re micro-detours away from connection. Left unattended, they create the quiet friction that slows teams down, erodes trust, and makes collaboration heavier than it needs to be.
Resetting your relational patterns doesn’t mean ignoring conflict. It means strengthening the foundation that makes conflict easier to navigate — because connection gives us the generosity, resilience, and psychological safety we need to have honest conversations.
Three Patterns to Leave Behind in 2024
Here are three common relational habits that subtly block connection, and that many people carry into a new year without realizing it:
1. Old Stories About People: We all create mental shortcuts about others: “He never listens,” “She’s always critical,” “They don’t care about my workload.” Even if these stories were once true, they can become outdated. January is your chance to ask: “Do I want this story to guide our relationship in 2025?”
2. Speed Over Presence: When we’re busy, we default to efficiency—quick replies, rushed decisions, minimal emotional bandwidth. But connection never grows in a rush. This year, choose moments, even small ones, where presence matters more than speed.
3. Defensive Interpretations: When we feel stretched thin, it’s easy to assume negative intent or brace for criticism. But curiosity and defensiveness cannot coexist. Resetting into curiosity is one of the fastest ways to restore connection.
Seeing these patterns clearly is what makes it possible to change them. None of them require dramatic overhauls—just small, consistent shifts in how we move through conversations. And that’s where micro-habits become powerful.
Three Micro-Habits to Strengthen Connection in 2026
Connection isn’t built through grand gestures, but through small, intentional moments we repeat every day. These micro-habits may seem small, but practiced consistently, they have an outsized impact on how connected people feel. Here are three to start with:
1. Add One Clarifying Question: Before responding, ask: “Can you say a little more about what you’re hoping for here?” This signals care and reduces misunderstandings before they start.
2. Slow Your First Reaction: A two-second pause is enough for your nervous system to shift from reactivity to presence. Those two seconds build trust over time.
3. Name One Appreciation Each Week: It doesn’t need to be elaborate. “Thanks for looping me in.” “I noticed how thoughtful you were in that meeting.” Connection grows through recognition, not perfection.
As you step into this new year, consider what it would look like to treat connection as a daily practice rather than a lofty goal. Notice the moments when you slow down instead of rushing, when you ask one more question instead of assuming, when you choose presence over protection.
These small choices rarely feel dramatic in the moment, but over time they shape how safe, supported, and connected people feel around you. A new year doesn’t require a new version of you — just a more intentional way of showing up in the moments that matter most.
Questions Leaders Ask
In this week's Leadership Reflection, we explore how connection is built through small, everyday interactions. Strong workplace relationships rarely emerge by accident. They are shaped by habits, assumptions, interpretations, and choices that either strengthen trust or quietly create distance over time.
Why is connection important in the workplace?
Connection helps create trust, collaboration, psychological safety, and stronger communication. When people feel connected, they are more likely to share ideas, address concerns, support one another, and work through disagreements productively. Connection strengthens both relationships and performance.
How do workplace relationships gradually weaken?
Relationships often weaken through small, repeated patterns rather than major conflicts. Assumptions, unresolved misunderstandings, defensive interpretations, lack of presence, and reduced communication can slowly create distance between people. Over time, these small moments accumulate and affect trust and collaboration.
What are the signs that connection is declining on a team?
Common signs include reduced communication, increased misunderstandings, reluctance to ask for help, lower trust, decreased collaboration, defensiveness, disengagement, and people making assumptions about one another's intentions rather than seeking clarification.
Why do assumptions create problems in relationships?
Assumptions allow people to create stories about others without verifying whether those stories are accurate. Over time, these stories can shape expectations and influence behavior. Curiosity helps interrupt assumptions by creating opportunities to gather new information and better understand another person's perspective.
How can leaders strengthen connection with their teams?
Leaders can strengthen connection by being present, listening carefully, expressing appreciation, asking thoughtful questions, and showing genuine interest in others. Small, consistent actions often have a greater impact than occasional large gestures.
What role does curiosity play in building trust?
Curiosity helps people remain open to understanding rather than rushing to conclusions. When leaders ask questions instead of making assumptions, they create opportunities for stronger relationships, better communication, and greater psychological safety.
What are some simple habits that improve workplace relationships?
Small practices can have a significant impact. Asking one additional clarifying question, pausing before reacting, expressing appreciation, listening fully before responding, and checking assumptions before acting can all strengthen connection over time.
What is psychological safety?
Psychological safety is the belief that people can speak honestly, ask questions, share ideas, raise concerns, and admit mistakes without fear of embarrassment, punishment, or rejection. Strong relationships and consistent connection help create the conditions where psychological safety can grow.
What is Conflict EQ?
Conflict EQ is the ability to remain grounded, curious, and constructive when tension, disagreement, or difficult conversations arise. Strong connection helps support Conflict EQ because trust, curiosity, and psychological safety make it easier for people to engage difficult conversations before tension grows into conflict.