Starting the New Year with More Connection
by Trista Schoonmaker
As the calendar flips to a new year, most of us instinctively think about productivity goals or personal resolutions. But very few people pause to consider a different kind of reset — one that has far more influence on our daily experience at work:
How do I want to show up in my relationships this year?
What patterns am I bringing into 2025 that might be getting in the way of connection?
The truth is, connection doesn’t drift into our lives by accident. It’s built (or eroded) through the small, often unconscious habits that shape our interactions.
And most of us are still operating on last year’s relational autopilot.
This is why January offers such a powerful opportunity. We get to reset not just our calendars, but our connection patterns.
Why This Matters
Every workplace relationship has a rhythm—a set of assumptions, habits, emotional shortcuts, and unspoken interpretations that develop over time. Some patterns bring us closer. Others quietly pull us apart.
Maybe you had a colleague last year whose tone you started interpreting negatively.
Maybe you slipped into rushing through conversations because you were overwhelmed.
Maybe a miscommunication went unaddressed and calcified into distance.
Maybe you simply stopped seeing someone’s humanity because speed took priority over presence.
These aren’t “conflict” moments in the dramatic sense; they’re micro-detours away from connection. Left unattended, they create the quiet friction that slows teams down, erodes trust, and makes collaboration heavier than it needs to be.
Resetting your relational patterns doesn’t mean ignoring conflict. It means strengthening the foundation that makes conflict easier to navigate — because connection gives us the generosity, resilience, and psychological safety we need to have honest conversations.
Three Patterns to Leave Behind in 2024
Here are three common relational habits that subtly block connection, and that many people carry into a new year without realizing it:
1. Old Stories About People: We all create mental shortcuts about others: “He never listens,” “She’s always critical,” “They don’t care about my workload.” Even if these stories were once true, they can become outdated. January is your chance to ask: “Do I want this story to guide our relationship in 2025?”
2. Speed Over Presence: When we’re busy, we default to efficiency—quick replies, rushed decisions, minimal emotional bandwidth. But connection never grows in a rush. This year, choose moments, even small ones, where presence matters more than speed.
3. Defensive Interpretations: When we feel stretched thin, it’s easy to assume negative intent or brace for criticism. But curiosity and defensiveness cannot coexist. Resetting into curiosity is one of the fastest ways to restore connection.
Seeing these patterns clearly is what makes it possible to change them. None of them require dramatic overhauls—just small, consistent shifts in how we move through conversations. And that’s where micro-habits become powerful.
Three Micro-Habits to Strengthen Connection in 2026
Connection isn’t built through grand gestures, but through small, intentional moments we repeat every day. These micro-habits may seem small, but practiced consistently, they have an outsized impact on how connected people feel. Here are three to start with:
1. Add One Clarifying Question: Before responding, ask: “Can you say a little more about what you’re hoping for here?” This signals care and reduces misunderstandings before they start.
2. Slow Your First Reaction: A two-second pause is enough for your nervous system to shift from reactivity to presence. Those two seconds build trust over time.
3. Name One Appreciation Each Week: It doesn’t need to be elaborate. “Thanks for looping me in.” “I noticed how thoughtful you were in that meeting.” Connection grows through recognition, not perfection.
As you step into this new year, consider what it would look like to treat connection as a daily practice rather than a lofty goal. Notice the moments when you slow down instead of rushing, when you ask one more question instead of assuming, when you choose presence over protection.
These small choices rarely feel dramatic in the moment, but over time they shape how safe, supported, and connected people feel around you. A new year doesn’t require a new version of you — just a more intentional way of showing up in the moments that matter most.